I’ve never understood the obsession with booze that tastes like it came out of your grandpa’s 1970 Buick.
Let’s break it down:
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Beer? Tastes like someone strained a loaf of stale bread through a trucker’s sock.
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Whiskey? Like licking a campfire mixed with regret.
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Tequila? Great if your goal is to wake up with a tattoo and chest hair you didn’t have the night before.
And yet, when you say this out loud, people hit you with, “It’s an acquired taste.”
Translation: Yeah, it tastes awful, but I’ve committed to the bit, and now I have to defend it.
Meanwhile, I’m over here ordering a mojito, piña colada, or margarita—living my best umbrella-drink life.
My friends used to say, “You drink like a girl.”And I’d smile, take a sip of my lime-sugar-mint heaven, and say, “Good. I’ll be over here enjoying myself while you sip fermented lawn clippings.”
So... Why Is Cannabis Trying to Taste Like Booze?
Now here’s where it gets weird. We’re in the cannabis industry—a place overflowing with flavor potential. This magical plant comes with over 200 terpenes, each one bursting with personality.
So why are we out here trying to taste like rum?
Why are some brands channeling their inner moonshiner instead of innovator?
Why are we chasing “alcoholic essence” when we could be building a new category entirely—one rooted in flavor, vibe, and actual enjoyment?
Some Brands Get It. Some Still Need Therapy.
Let’s give props where it’s due. Brez, Nowadays, Levity—these brands understand the assignment. They’re crafting cannabis spirits that hit with smooth, elevated flavors. Light. Crisp. Creative.
No one’s trying to replicate a frat party in a bottle.
We have a blank canvas and the entire terpene spectrum to paint with. We can do citrus-forward. We can do floral. We can do piney, spicy, fruity, or earthy.
We can do things alcohol can’t—because cannabis spirits are flavor-first, not ethanol-fueled.
Time to Break Up With “Gross”
Let’s make it official: we don’t need to mimic the stuff that tastes like it should come with a warning label and a fire extinguisher.
We’re not here to recreate a bad liquor store. We’re here to reinvent the future of sipping.
750ml cannabis spirits that taste like strawberry basil clarity, pineapple mint chill, or ginger lime adventure? Yes, please.
A fancy bottle you can pour for friends that makes everyone say “Wow” instead of “Ugh”? That’s the move.
Final Thought:
To every cannabis company trying to make a cannabis whiskey:
Please stop. We’ve suffered enough.
Let’s leave the firewater to the barstools of the past and build something worth toasting.
To the future.
To flavor.
To cannabis spirits that taste like joy.
